When a male is not a MAN

The word, MAN, immediately reminds us of an adult male person with some of his main qualities as being a virile person with strength, courage and aggression. Invariably, what we are saying is that beyond the sex, certain mannish qualities are mandatory in the person being considered a man.

Seeing his physical features, we are quick to say a male is standing before us. But closely observing his character, we may suddenly lose the boldness to call him a man.  His lack of strength and courage will go a long way in disqualifying this male figure from being called a man. However, whenever the female sex is able to demonstrate these same qualities missing in the male, we no longer see her as a woman, but as a man “Okunrin ni obinrin yi” (This woman is a man),” we say. Is that confusing? We call her a man, not because she is a male sex, but because, though a woman, she is able to display those qualities associated with a man.

In this case, therefore, a man is not only the person with the physical male features, but a person who, probably, in addition to these physical features, can effortlessly exhibit certain qualities associated with being a man. For instance, is he strong and courageous, not only physically, but mentally?

It is my intention to challenge the so-called men who go about town flexing muscles to intimidate those without this secret that certain inabilities in them have actually disqualified them from being called men, but males. All things being equal, every male should be considered a man, but sadly, things are never equal. Not all male children, therefore, turn out being men. Not every adult male child is a man. Not every husband or leader is a man!

When a male is not a man, he is not able to make and stand by his decisions. A male finds it difficult to think deep, make and stand by a helpful decision. He weighs the initial cost of the decision against its benefits. And although, on the long run, taking this decision will be to his advantage, he dumps it because he cannot bear the immediate pains.

It takes a man to go through today’s suffering for tomorrow’s joy. Men are known to endure; male are known to enjoy. A male simply lacks the heart to sacrifice immediate pleasures to get better things achieved in his life. It is disastrous when a male is not a man.

In addition, a male finds it difficult to recognize and accept the fact that he is not self-existing. He lives in the illusion that he is the master of his life. Tell him he is responsible to God and watch him play the fool. He deceives himself that he can do whatever he likes with “his life”. Poor little thing!

Surrendering a life to an invisible God is a decision not for the males. It takes a man to make such a crucial decision; for in doing so, he has handed over his self-will, wishes and ambitions. It takes a man and not a male to live according to the dictates of the creator. It is sad when a male runs wild against his creator; something a man will never do. Though it costs hard trials and rejection from friends, a man pushes on with Jesus.

A male flows with whatever is in the air, because he is jelly-livered to stand out of the crowd. For him, anything and everything is alright even when he is aware that blending with the crowd will have a negative impact on him. He is afraid of positively dressing differently and so he puts on anything, as long as his friends have them on. He cannot initiate, but lives to imitate. He is a follower of initiators!

And like a defensive or protective mechanism of a chameleon, a male will blend with his environment to avoid being spotted by predators and his prey alike. To stop being considered a laughing stock by his ‘predators’, he will quickly blend with the crowd to do evil – Ex. 23:2. In order for him to feed on others as well, he will maintain an ever-changing manner of life. It takes a man and not a male to do away with the deceptive nature of a chameleon. A man will positively stand tall, but a male lacks the courage to be the odd one out in the midst of evil companions. It takes a man to tell the whole world: “This is me and this is what I stand for.” Honestly, it is a disaster when a male refuses to be a man.

What of being an exemplary figure in the home? A male will only talk about the qualities his children should possess, but he will never be able to lead by example. It is easier for the male to talk about how it is evil to lie and cheat, but it takes a man to live as a practically loving and responsible husband/father in the home. When the homes are full of males, little wonder the manner of families we have around today. What else would you expect in a home headed by a male, but dozens of phonies and inconsistencies?

It takes the wisdom and courage of a man to run a home. It takes a spirited effort of a man to stand noble and faithful to the wife of his youth. A male husband will flirt with anything in skirt (although they now come in trousers). A male father is what every child should pray against and may God please answer such prayers.

Talking about the nation, when a male is not a man, you have a country like Nigeria. When males are in positions of authority, the outcome is as seen of this nation. It isn’t about the flowing Babarigas or the London-cut suits and ties, but all about having solid-proof character. Judging by their physical features, we have leaders that are males, but how do you continue to call them men when they lack the strong will of a man to stand against corruption and for the truth?

God, please send men to the top positions in Nigeria! Oh that the male leaders will retire to where they truly belong – their play-pens. Will they ever get to understand that governance is for men; leadership positions are not for male toddlers. It takes a man not to be swallowed up by the comfort, respect, glory and honour that comes with leadership. While the male leaders see all these and crumble, men leaders see and act differently. They accept the challenges, responsibilities and accountability of leadership.

A male leader misbehaves like a child entering a Shoprite mall for the first time. He, the male, runs across the mall, wishing that everything were his. Oh what a greedy child! (Omode oloju kokoro). Oh that God will give us men who are men enough to restrain themselves from putting everything they see on the shelves of leadership into their shopping trolleys. A male, in order to be famous, will do everything infamous. To keep his friends, who themselves are males; he will live without self-discipline.

It is good to be born a male, but it is a calamity not to grow up to be a man. It is good to join the body of Christ as a male, but it is a shame when this male, after years of being a church member or an official, remains one. It may be right to be called into ministry as a male, but it is a pain and loss to the kingdom of God when spiritual leaders refuse to be men. While male leaders in the household of God only think of today, my congregation and expansion that will soon lead to explosion; men leaders think of tomorrow’s eternity and so they avoid walking in the examples of Judas and Demas.

Nothing serious is committed into the hand of a male. Nigeria needs leaders that are men and God is also looking for men to be in charge of His work. We need men that would stand against the many vices in this nation and not clueless male leaders. Please note that this is not a matter of sex, but a matter all about character and strong will to stand on the side of righteousness.

It is a double tragedy when a male is not a man and knows not that he is not. However, when a male is aware that he is not a man, he can pray for a transformation. He should seek and weep before God and the expected transformation will surely take place, even from now. God bless you!

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